“I’m Not Ready To Do The Mental Work Required For Our Sessions.”
What a profound statement. It’s a big deal when clients can articulate that they are not ready to do the mental work required when engaging in mental health counseling.
Let’s define mental work. Mental work captures the work that goes into working on oneself –the thinking, imagining, creativity, reasoning, problem-solving, planning, effort, etc. Let’s be honest for a moment. It can be emotionally and mentally draining for clients to engage in this type of work. And depending on what’s going on in their lives, it can make or break their experience.
In my opinion, it is essential to encourage clients to do self-reflections. Self-reflection allows us to be the expert on all things us. And best of all, as we grow and learn, so too does our understanding of self.
Often people find themselves in mental health counseling because they are aware a change needs to happen. That’s a great first step. Showing up and doing the work required to facilitate change is a whole other story.
And a friendly reminder, showing up and doing the work looks different for everyone. In sessions, I’ve often quoted some version of this, “We are planting seeds. It is your job to water and cultivate these seeds. And just like in real life, not all these seeds will mature and sprout.” This quote helps to manage expectations and allows clients to understand/internalize the level of work needed.
As mental health counselors, how can we encourage our clients to realize and disclose their need to take a step back?
Tips on Assessing a Client’s Readiness
Don’t be afraid to broach the topic. I prefer some form of overt articulation. Encourage openness. Check-in by asking those open-ended questions. Below are suggestions. Feel free to reword and make your own.
- Are you getting what you need out of these sessions?
- What about our interactions are helpful to you?
- What barriers prevent you from reaching your goal?
- Will these barriers interfere with the timeline you’ve set?
- Which personal strengths will you need to rely on to meet your goals?
- Which personal strength will you have to develop to meet your goals?
- Beware of other commitments and time constraints, as they can serve as barriers.
- Get the client to disclose ambivalence.
- Create a Treatment Plan. I can’t stress the importance of establishing a Treatment Plan. It keeps sessions on track and helps to provide a framework of sorts. Having sessions run wild can be demotivating to clients.
If you’ve had clients disclose that they are not ready to do the mental work, consider yourself lucky. The realization and need to pull back is necessary and is a vital step towards moving forward.
Pulling back doesn’t have to mean ending the therapeutic relationship. Pulling back could very well mean working towards other goals or breaking up the client’s current goals into smaller manageable chunks. Again, this realization should be encouraged and explored within the confines of the therapeutic relationship.
I think this level of awareness helps the therapeutic relationship. It also saves our clients and us time and energy and allows us to pivot. I prefer when a client has gumption and lays their truth down –in whatever manner suits them.
