I intentionally prepare myself mentally, spiritually, and physically before and after sessions for unexpected triggers. How do I do this? I create distance between myself and my clients. I remind myself that it’s okay to have overlapping experiences of trauma and hurt. And as two unique individuals, we have different skillsets, protective factors, and resources –making our experiences nuanced and unique in their own right.
By creating space, it allows me to react appropriately. The interesting thing about talk therapy is that you never know what a client will say or do during the session, and in some ways, you have to be prepared to 1) react OR 2) not react at all–this takes awareness, skill, and practice. My self-awareness allows me to navigate my clients’ transference and emotional triggers. I do my best to address my traumas and hurt by creating time to process and heal. That way, the temptation to process alongside the client is minimized.
I’m not going to sit here and act as though every time I’ve been triggered, it went well. I do have a protocol in place. I have no qualms about ending a session early OR stepping away briefly to recalibrate myself. I do this because it is not my client’s responsibility to comfort me or sensor their healing for my comfort. Having these thoughts front and center helps me navigate my triggers appropriately.
Self-awareness isn’t only for clients; it’s for us as mental health providers. Self-awareness fosters self-mastery.
When triggered, I usually ask myself. “What specifically about this person’s story is triggering you?” I then take note of my trigger and promise myself that I will return at a later date and time to process. I keep that promise to myself. I want to repeat that; I keep my promise and return to my trigger.
I do not avoid, place on the back burner, or dismiss my trigger.
Instead, I return and make sense of my trigger. That way, if and when it happens again, I can comfort myself with the understanding that I’m doing the work. To come back to the point I made earlier, creating space for my own healing is instrumental; having space allows me to feel more in control of my needs.
I want to be clear, do not confuse distance with a lack of care, compassion, or curiosity. I create distance because I care. For me, not creating distance leaves things open and may run the risk of jeopardizing the therapeutic relationship. My wish is to avoid this as much as possible. Instead, I go into sessions with a heartset and mindset that prioritizes partnership, acceptance, and collaboration. Not only do I extend this to my clients, but I also extend it to myself.
In my observation of self, I’ve also noted that when my resolved triggers are brought to the surface by a client, sometimes my righting reflex shows up, and I want to steer the client’s process. I combat this by being curious and reminding myself that my client has all the tools within them to solve their concerns, and their journey is beautiful and wonderous in its own right and should be respected as such.
Dealing with triggers can be difficult. There isn’t a right or wrong way as long as it’s intentional and works for you.
